From a Mother’s Heart

Jamie, my 33-year-old daughter, and I talk almost every day. But last week, she told me something about herself she’d never revealed before. I knew I’d be pondering her words for a while. Maybe forever.

“Mom, I love the solar system,” she said. “It makes sense to me.”

“Really? I pretend it doesn’t exist. Maybe because I don’t understand it.”

“Remember that science fair project I did with Styrofoam planets?”

“Um-hmm. Fourth grade.”

“Some day, I’m going to get a telescope.”

“Have you always loved looking at the sky?”

“Always.”

How could I’ve been her mother this long and not known?

She told me all about the upcoming blue moon and texted me a recent picture she’d taken.

“It’s Venus and Jupiter,” she said. “You can only see them at certain times.”

“Amazing! How do you know this stuff?”

“I study the solar system.”

She talked a little bit about blood moons and end of time prophecy–something we’d never discussed.

After we hung up, I dug through a box of old pictures, not really sure what I was looking for. Clues maybe?

Did she love the night sky as a child? 

September 21, 1981. Jamie was born the next day.

 

Three years old.

She found a pair of scissors and chopped off her pony-tail. I remember thinking, I should’ve been watching her. How’d I let this happen? 

Teaching her to ride a bike, I’m wondering,

When is it safe to let go?

 

I searched through her elementary school pictures.

Nothing about the solar system.

A couple of nights ago, I went outside and sat in the damp grass. The blue-black sky was glorious–diamond-like stars taking up every inch of it.

I looked up until my neck hurt. 

Lord, there are so many things I don’t understand about creation. And children. 

How did You fling the stars into space?

Why don’t we fall off the spinning earth?

Can You connect with Jamie and her musings? 

It was as if He whispered like a good friend–right into my ear.

Just relax.

Enjoy the view.

I’ve got this, Julie. 

What puzzles you about creation? Children?

Do you understand the solar system?

Love,

Julie

 

For The Moon Never Beams Without Bringing Me Dreams…

Last Wednesday night the moon was amazing.  It wasn’t the shape of a fingernail clipping, or a half-moon like orange chewy candy.

Oh, no. This was a golden grapefruit suspended at the edge of the horizon.

Like no moon I’d ever seen.

I called my daughter Katie and told her to look at it. She loves sunsets and sunrises. I knew she’d love this gorgeous moon.

She ran outside. “I can’t find it!”

“What do you mean? It has to be there. Keep looking.”

She circled her house. “There’s no moon. Just a blank sky.” She sounded a little sad.

I was driving home from the Y. “Well, it’s to my left and I’m on highway–”

“That doesn’t help me, Mom. I guess we don’t have a moon where I live.”

We laughed and decided maybe the moon was hiding from her.

After we hung up, I couldn’t forget what she said…

We don’t have a moon where I live.

Her words worked their way into my heart.

Surely God has a message here for me.

At times, I’ve felt like maybe He was hiding. Or maybe He just wasn’t listening.

The next day Katie sent me an email. “I never found the moon, but look at the sunrise this morning. Right over our house!”

 

Thank you Lord. Just what she needed today. 🙂

Trust Me, Julie, God seemed to say. I know my children’s needs.  I haven’t forgotten.

I created the sun, the moon, the stars, the heavens, and the very air you breathe.

I’m closer than you ever dreamed.

(title is from a line from “Annabel Lee” by Edgar Allen Poe, one of my favorite poems)

Love,

Julie