The Driveway to My Heart Part Two

Saturday morning, several people were heavy on my heart. Walking down my DRIVEWAY, I thought about their situations. A broken sobriety. Possible jail time. Infertility. Divorce. Someone feeling beaten down in her job. A young mother, 36, died unexpectedly.

My prayers quickly shifted to, God, hello? Where are You? Have You forgotten?

He didn’t offer any explanations, so put my iPod on and hushed my thoughts.

This song came on.

It was as though I’d never heard it.

As the music played, a feather-soft suggestion landed in my heart.

It seemed ridiculous.

Unnecessary.

Awkwardly humbling, actually.

Open your fingers.

I glanced at my hands. They were tight like a boxer’s hands. Why should I open my fingers?

I didn’t feel like it.

Open your fingers and stretch out your hands.

Such a silly idea. A tiny act that couldn’t possibly amount to much.

I ignored the thought for a few seconds.

And then that music–those sweet words–their gentle persistence filled me.

When I said yes, when I unfurled my fingers and slowly turned my hands over, opening them toward heaven, I’m telling you the truth.

I felt the Power and the Presence of The Great I Am.

The Great I Am!

The Great I Am!

There was something supernatural in the unclenching of my fists.

And my will.

The power of the song was so much stronger than my concerns. My worries floated up, up, and away.

 

Here’s where it happened.

This is the very spot where The Great I Am met me.

The place where I opened my hands.

And let go. Again.

Praying for you, my precious friends.

Love,

Julie

 

Jeremy–The Road to Recovery Part 2

One of Jeremy's tool boxes. The other one is in his heart.

Jeremy, what made you decide to change? How did you start the process?

“I got so low I never wanted to go down that rocky road again. For me, change is a lifelong process. I stopped hanging out with my old friends, but knew I needed friends. I started going to Celebrate Recovery every Thursday night. I have an accountability partner. We talk three times a week. I talk to God every single day. I go to church. I made amends with people I’d hurt.”

What did you lose?

“An inheritance from my grandfather, a business, respect of my family, pride in myself.”

What have you gained? (I’m smiling. I can’t wait to hear his answer!)

“A new house better than my old one with a nice shop out back, an up-and-coming lawn maintenance company, a leadership position for chemically addicted young men at Celebrate Recovery, regained trust and respect of all my family members, an inheritance from my Heavenly Father than can never be destroyed.”

Amen!

“And you know what else? I don’t always have to look over my shoulder. I don’t have to be afraid every time I see a cop. Peace. Tranquility. Flow. Organization. Continuity in my life. Total mental clarity.”

A pause formed in our conversation…

“Back when I was using, it made me mad that you (Julie) wouldn’t give up on me. I thought, she’s beating a dead horse. I wanted you to shut up and go away. I couldn’t understand why you’d encourage something I thought was impossible.”

Your addiction worked for good in me, too. I’m so grateful.  I had a lot to learn on the Al-Anon side. I had to leave you alone and start working on myself.  I’ll write more about that later. What would you say to someone facing any kind of addiction?

“Nobody’s beyond hope. Right now, I have two chemically addicted young men who call me daily. I don’t chase them around. It doesn’t help to beg someone to change. You can’t nag or guilt somebody into sobriety.”

You’re so right. None of us changes until he or she is ready.

“I’m available for these two men 24/7, but it’s their responsibility to contact me. If you’re serious about recovery, work on it. Every single day. Find a sponsor.”

Do you have one last piece of advice?

“Build a toolbox for yourself. Fill it with whatever works for you. I use things I’ve learned from counseling, AA, NA, Celebrate Recovery, life experiences, my family, my sponsor, church, and group meetings. We’re all different. No two set of tools will be identical.”

What’s your favorite scripture?

“It’s Philippians 4:13. I know it in English and Spanish. ‘I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.’ That’s the key. It’s His strength working in me. I can’t make it on my own.'”

Me either, Jeremy.

Love,

Julie and Jeremy