Real Women Talk

I’d been toying with the idea that perhaps–just perhaps–my phone had gotten too important to me. Then–BOOM! Something happened Saturday night and there was no denying it.

I had a problem.

My husband Rick and I were invited to a friend’s birthday party. We knew two of the six couples. Most of them had been in a small group together, led by the birthday boy Todd and his wife Debbie.

From left to right: Fay, Dana, Leslie, me, Nikki, Debbie, and Denise.

When the ladies started talking, wouldn’t you know?

The conversation went straight to phones.

How, when we were children, people talked. 

Face to Face.

We had real relationships.

I wanted to hide under the table.

Every time Rick and I get in the car, the first thing I do is grab my phone to check Facebook and catch up on emails.

Honestly, I’m not with him. I’m in another world.

The phone-world always seems so URGENT.

Up until Saturday night, I pretended I didn’t know any better.

Snippets of our table conversation from the ladies:

“My kids invite their friends over and text rather than talk.”

“We went to a party and were instructed to leave our phones by the door.”

“My kids got panicky in the car on vacation when their batteries died.”

“We should make new rules. No phones during mealtimes or on Sundays.”

I’m thinking, no——–please, please, please don’t take my phone! 

I can’t live without it! 

Uh-oh. 

I have a problem.

My phone is WAY too important to me.

The thing is–

At the party, I forgot about my phone. I was having so much fun getting to know people. 

Through expressions.

Through honesty.

Through humor.

Which doesn’t happen from typing words into a screen.

One of my new friends suggested we sneak up on the men to see if they were on their phones.

Four of the six were.

Then something life-changing happened.

Leslie broke out in a birthday song to Todd!

LAUGHTER. 

COMMUNITY.

FRIENDSHIP.

Things I’d have missed if I’d been trapped in the phone-world.

Because real women talk. Sometimes they even sing. 🙂

You gotta watch this! If you can’t see the video below, click here

From now on, I’m living life instead of letting my phone control me.

Can you relate?

Has anything ever gotten too important to you? 

Love,

Julie

Comments

  1. Convicted!
    Time to set the phone down!!
    🙂

    • It creeps up on us, doesn’t it, Patti. And I tried for quite a while to run from The Truth!

      Hugs, my dear friend.

      xo

  2. Julie Gilleand says:

    Too familiar, this is! When my husband and I were out to dinner Saturday night, while we waited for our order I of course checked my phone — for texts, email, Facebook, etc. Hubby says, “No electronic devices at the table!” It’s not that we ever agreed to that, it’s just that I knew he was right and it was not very nice of me to be seated at a table with him and “talking” to someone else who was not there! I ignored the phone the rest of our dinner, except for taking a few pictures of our outing which he wanted too. But oh was it hard to not look at that phone. Yeah, I have a problem too alright! I noticed it even more the other day when first thing in the morning, I used to grab my devotionals and scripture calendar to start the day but more and more now, I am reaching for my phone and checking facebook! This is going to call for some discipline. I’m drifting off course and your blog today is another nudge to help me in that direction! Thank you leafy sister!!

    Other Julie G

    • I know, I know, I know, I know, Leafy.

      Me to. 🙁

      I just kept running from what my heart was telling me, and then Saturday night happened.

      Thanks for letting me know you understand.

      xo–and I’ve seen a few yellow leaves on the driveway!

      • Julie Gilleand says:

        I haven’t noticed any color yet on the trees but I’ve heard tell of some. It’s too early! I want it to come when the cool fall weather comes with it! But I do love them anyway 🙂

  3. Patricia Martin says:

    I know whenever anyone in our family has tech problems with our electronics, it can start a near panic– what did people in the dark ages and Stone Age do before cell phones and iPads? I know that people survived for centuries without electronic devices, I just cannot believe it!)): Hope your daughter’s move is going well–Sarah Plain and Tall is a great book series for families as I have loved reading the books for years. Please pray for me as I am going through a detox and now, my iPad is having problems!():
    Sending hugs,
    Patricia

    • I know, Patricia!!! And I grew up in the Stone Ages. 🙂 Honestly though, it was wonderful, growing up, talking to my friends about everything. Playing Monopoly with a friend was divine! It would just be the two of us, laughing and talking at her house. (I didn’t bring friends home very often–that’s another blog.) 🙂

      Okay, praying right now for your detox situation. Let me know how it goes–doing this cold turkey.

      Daughter Katie moves the first part of September, I believe. Thanks so much for asking.

      Much love, my friend.

  4. Anna Haney says:

    Guilty! Last night, though, it was Daddy’s birthday and from 6ish until 10 when we got home, I did not look at the phone. Granted. I was driving. But we all talked. After dinner, Don, Daddy, and I gathered around Momma’s bed and we talked about religion and politics (hard to believe, I know) and it was great. My mom was so animated and even seemed to be without pain for a while. While I do like the way Facebook has brought me closer to old friends who live far away, to relatives in England, and introduced me to new precious friends like you, I know that I spend way too much time with it. Interestingly, there is a Bible app on my phone but when I use it, I end up posting a scripture to Facebook or Instagram. I remember scripture better, though, when I write it with my hands than with a keyboard! Love you!

    • Anna, I SO understand. I’m right there with you. But the first step in changing is admitting there’s a problem, right? And there definitely was–with me.

      Glad to hear you had such a wonderful night, and especially the good news about your mom. Bet you’ll always remember last night~~~~~

      Love you too.

  5. Convicted by this post today. I’m too “attached” as well. Our son came into town last night for an interview today. We were deep in conversation. Going over the “what if’s” and talking about the twists and turns of life and my phone pinged. My mind strayed..who is it? What do they want? Is everyone ok? Maybe it’s my daughter? Yada Yada Yada… I had to really work at not picking up the phone to look at it. I get such little time with my son and I didn’t want to spoil our conversation with a random text message. I sneaked a peak to make sure it wasn’t my daughter and then put it away. I remember scolding my daughter once, when she was a little girl, and she replied “I’mma do better momma.” I think I’mma do better.

    • I’m With You, Felicia!

      I’mma do better to.

      So glad I’m not the only one. Can’t tell you how good it feels to see my other friends saying, “Me too. Me too.”

      xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxo

  6. Brenda E. Greene says:

    Guilty! Enough said. Going to pry this nasty thing from my hand right now! Thanks for the courage to do so.

    However… when I turned my phone on this morning I had a text from our youngest sharing the hurtful words her youngest had sent her. She’s in a new school with new faces and missing her friends at another school and texted some hateful words to her Mom who was at that moment welcoming her classroom of 5th graders while trying to hold on to her tears. So I began texting what I hoped was encouraging words and scripture to remind Mom that “this too shall pass.”

    So that being said…maybe I will just try to be more mindful of how often I use my phone and exercise more restraint. Thank you Sweet Julie Girl for keeping us accountable in our Walk with Jesus! Much love…Brenda

    • Brenda, I love how you said, “Pry this nasty thing from my hand.” That’s the same feeling that came over me.

      And–at the same time–I love how you used your phone for good, to bless others.

      Maybe I can do that very thing. I want to….Maybe we should all keep each other accountable.

      xo

  7. I had a similar experience last week. My husband left his phone, here, at home. He received two urgent texts about construction workers wanting to come right away, but my husband had to be here. I became so stressed, watching the hours go past, and no sign of my husband as the messages kept rolling in.

    When he finally arrived, I told him what he had missed. And he LAUGHED. “I guess they had to wait,” he said. “Remember when we had land lines, and if nobody answered, nothing happened? And it was ok.”

    He was so filled with logic, and he made me re-think my reliance on the phone as well!

    Blessings to you~ as we continue to resist the temptation to detach from the most important moment- the one here, right now!

    • Gotta love our logical men, Vicky.

      He’s SO right. And sometimes (usually) my husband doesn’t even have his phone with him. He’ll leave it on top of his dresser and ignore texts.

      Yep. With you. Resisting temptation.

      Love you dearly.

  8. Oh my goodness, Julie, this post hit my right where it hurts–with the truth! I, too, have gotten way too connected to my phone. And like you, when Gary and I get in the car, I grab my phone to check mail, FB, or play a game. Time that I should be talking to my man.

    Thank you for the reminder. And tell your friend I love her song! So cute!

    • Thanks, Vonda. My friend—she’s a drama teacher. 🙂 🙂 Bet y’all would really hit it off!

      And when Rick and I are in restaurants, I do the same thing with my phone, but at least I’m finally acknowledging it.

      Glad I’m not the only one…

      Thank you!

  9. marci says:

    Wow, did you hit a lot of cords! Depending on phones. At 22, I drove from AR to CA, with no cell ph.. Now – if I start to town and realize I don’t have it- I turn around to come back to get it. That is a 3 1/2 mi trip. I don’t text nor does my husband, but he gets text. He went to the Cell ph store and told them to take texting off his ph. The look on thier faces!
    I need some cyberfast days. I have taken a couple but it is very difficult.
    And when the Internet is down, or there is a problem with the computer, Panic.
    I am grateful for the good in being able to be in touch- for sites with Blogs like yours, for e-mail, and even for FB when I am not drawn in to spending too much time, as I get to see the pictures of family members far off that I would not see otherwise.
    I am grateful for sites that have blessed me with friends, I would not have met otherwise and how dear they are to me, and how we can come together even if we are scattered all over the country and world. I know I need to keep a handle on how much time I spend here, sitting at the computer. Something I will have to work on.

    I don’t think there is anyone that cannot relate to your blog for today!

    God Bless you Dear Julie!

    • Marci’a. I can’t believe you just said that. I do the very same thing. I’ll get to the end of our driveway and realize I don’t have it–even if I’m just going to the grocery store, and go back to get it.

      Your response makes me feel so good, my friend. I wondered if anyone else would ever struggle with….phone addiction. And I hate the way that sounds. I think you’re doing much better than I am.

      And, I’m so very grateful for our FRIENDSHIP. and that the internet and God drew us together.

      Much love to you~~

      • marci says:

        Thanks Dear Julie, I thank God for our Friendship too and the good that the internet can be!
        I will write you an e-mail with some updates. And I thank you for your prayers.
        I am also grateful for the others here which also lift me with their responses. We really are a lot more alike than different aren’t we?
        God Bless you
        xoxoxo

        • Beautiful sentence, Marci’a…”We really are a lot more alike than different.”

          Love that. Deep truth, my friend.

          xoxo

  10. Oh, that’s funny … the song, the men on their phones. I’m not bad with my phone, only because I have a mini. 🙂 I have to wear my glasses to see it. My computer is my downfall. 🙂 If I had an iPhone, I’d probably be in trouble. 🙂

    • Hey Shelli,

      A mini? Is this a really small phone? Never heard the term before.

      I have to wear glasses to use my phone…which is probably why this year, I finally went from readers to progressive lens. I wouldn’t want to read a book with while wearing them, but they’re great for–you guessed it–reading a quick text.

      Oh, yes. The computer. The iPhone IS a computer. I guess that’s the problem. :/

      xoxo

  11. I LOVE the Spiritual Woman and her song! I love that you brought this up. We all need a reminder that people-to-people is SO MUCH more important than a case with a glass cover device.

    • Amen, B.J.!!!!!

      Ohhh, wish you could’ve heard my new friend sing. I put it up above in another comment, but she’s a drama teacher–so fun to be with. And she just belted it out, didn’t she?

      Love you, my Spiritual Woman Friend.

  12. I love being around people whom I can forget my phone with. Except of course if we need to take photos to document the event. 🙂

    I think it happens like a stage when we get attached with our phones but the important thing is that we don’t stay in it and realize early on what’s more vital.

    Have a wonderful week ahead, Julie!

    • Lux, I’d gotten so bad, I checked it (quickly, but still) no matter who I was with. :/ Totally obsessed!

      Thank you, so much for understanding!!

      xoxoxoxox

  13. You’re absolutely right, Julie. We live in a world full of technology but that doesn’t mean that we’ll let it overpower us. We need to go out there, talk, and have a life.

  14. Amen, Heart!!!! And I’m daily reminding myself not to let it rule my life!!

    Thank you~~

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