What Wives Wish Husbands Knew

Some things about marriage take years to discover.

Our porch party conversation Saturday morning:

“I know this probably sounds silly,” I said. “But I need a place to spread out the scenes of my novel. In color. I scotch-taped sticky notes to the wall, but they fell off.”

My husband kept rocking. Didn’t say anything.

How do I speak his language?

“When you were a little boy, didn’t you play in tree forts?”

He nodded.

“I bet you wanted all your G.I. Joes in the same spot, right? I need a place to play with all my words.”

“You need a whiteboard.”

“Yes! That’s it! A whiteboard with colored markers. That would work.”

Our next porch party…

“I checked prices. Whiteboards are expensive,” I said. “Big ones are about $300.”

“I can build you one.”

“Really? Would you?”

This is going to happen. Today. Wo-hoo!

He bought a whiteboard and trim from Home Depot. “Don’t worry about staining the trim. It’s fine the way it is,” I said.

He peered over his glasses at me and opened the stain.

I wasn’t in awe because he knew how to build something. Or even because he was doing it the right way.

My appreciation went deeper.

He hung his masterpiece.

And attached the trim.

He even put up a basket for my eraser and markers.

I ran my fingers over the smooth white surface.

“Feels like I’m a little girl again playing school–when anything was possible. It’s perfect. Thank you.”

“Glad you like it.”

After 35 years of marriage, I fell in love all over again because…

He listened.

He cared.

He put me first.  

I couldn’t wait to do the same things for him.

“…serve one another in love.” Gal 5:13 NLT

Praying this post will inspire creativity.

P.S. If you’d like a whiteboard of your very own, I found a great tutorial.






  1. Patricia Martin says:

    Happy First week of April, Julie! I love the beautiful whiteboard Rick made for you.(; It is kind of like a jumbo diary that you can write all your thoughts and inspirations on. How is Gene doing? I have been praying for him and your mom. Spring is such a lovely time of year-are your plants blooming yet?

    • Hey Patricia,

      Right now, I’m using the whiteboard to help me organize the novel I’m working on. I’m putting one character’s point-of-view chapters in purple and another character’s in green. What a great idea to use it as a huge diary!! One day I will.

      Gene is much better. Thank you. Mom’s good too. How’s your sister? Did she have surgery?

      • Patricia Martin says:

        I am glad to hear that Gene is doing better and my sister has not had any surgery yet. (: Her alternative treatment seems to be working. Sending sun to Georgia.

  2. Anna Haney says:

    Sitting here bawling again. My daddy did that for me when I was a teacher. One year I had to change classrooms the the other person spraypainted magnetic paint on the whiteboard Daddy put up for me. I nearly had a meltdown.
    Don is not the handy man that Rick is. He never will be. There are times, I will admit, when that drives me batty. But I love the fact that he got me the not really romantic but love filled gift of a helmet that sends pulses to my head to help with headaches; or that when I was teaching, he got me a UV wand to kill germs. And even though he doesn’t follow through like I would, I know he loved that I organized all the mass of papers he had on the dining room table when we married, that I unpacked his books, and that I organized the closet.
    Yes, these are small things, but thy are part of what makes it work. I take great delight in making his life easier, just as he does mine. And I still get all happy when I find my daddy the perfect gift although nothing can repay him for all the things he has done for me.
    That’s why I miss a church choir but still try to help at church in other ways. I want to serve a Lord who gave His life for mine.
    Thank you, sweet friend.
    Love you

    • Anna, what a Knight in Shining Armor your Don is!! With the whiteboard, yes, yes I love it, but more than that–was that he cared. He listened. And he did it first on his list that day. 🙂 🙂

      Never heard of a helmet for headaches-wonderful idea! Sounds like you two are such a good team.

      Love how you ended your note…”serve a Lord who gave His life for mine.” Beautiful.

      Praying for your writing–again, so proud of you for writing your GP workshop entry.

      Love you right back!

  3. Thank you Julie! You and Rick inspire much more than creativity in me! I am still chuckling over the line “He peered over his glasses at me and opened the stain.”…you know by now Rick is going to do it right and I sense he will only give you his best! Blessings as you fill up your board with blessings:)

    • Absolutely, Tom. He’s going to do it right, and I’d just get it done. Slap it up any old way.

      Thank you for the board blessings. I’m looking at it out of the corner of my eye as I’m typing now….

      Praying He helps me fill it up.

  4. Julie, I know I don’t always leave a comment, but I wanted you to know I love the things you share and how you share them. This is a precious story of love and giving. It brightened my day. Thanks!

    • Ohhhh, Lorna, thank you. I’m smiling all the way down to my toes. You made my day. And so nice to “meet” you!!

      Much love to you and yours~~

  5. Julie–I loved this post. (And, like Lorna, I read your posts regularly, but don’t post often–although I should! You regularly bless me with your insights.)

    • Thank you, thank you, Vie. Every time I blog, I wonder if anyone will understand. I pray my words will touch hearts, I ask God to stir something in my heart to share. It’s something I have to totally lean on Him to do.


      God bless you.

  6. Shelley Elaine says:

    Oh I LOVE it! The whole story…I, too, wanted to cry and LOVED the glasses phrase…my husband has recently started wearing reading glasses and I think he looks so studious in them ;). You and Rick are DEFINITELY an inspiration…BEAUTIFUL story! Thanks so much for sharing!!!

    • Hey Shelley,

      You are so welcome. I knew I was wasting my breath to tell him he didn’t have to stain it, but the words just tumbled out of my mouth. 🙂

      Thank you, thank you.

      Prayers for you those you love~~~

  7. Yes, truly…”some things about marriage take years to discover.” The thing is…many of them have been there all along, some of us (like me) just have to open our eyes to see.

    You did the perfect thing…you talked to him about your needs without demanding. And look what happened!

    He listened.
    He cared.
    He put you first.

    Ahhh….young love…after 35 years!

    • Ohhhhhh, I love it. Young love after 35 years, B.J.

      Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hadn’t thought of it that way.

      Thank you. Love you.

      • Jan says:

        “You talked to him about your needs without demanding. And look what happened!” She said it perfectly! Sounds like prayer. For a single 60-something, sounds like prayer.

        • Jan says:

          And “He listened. He cared. He put me first” sounds like God. Sounds like Jesus. Rick has a family resemblance there. And he loves you!

        • Hey there, Jan. Love, love, love your comments. Made my morning!! Happy Saturday to you.


  8. Wow, what a talented, amazing man you have! Praising God with you for your story, your man, and a white board. 🙂

  9. marci says:

    Reading this blog was like getting a nice hug! And realizing how blessed we are. My husband is like Rick in that he can fix, make, just about anything and that has been a blessing through all these years. And I feel sure that you, just like me, as you use, as you see the things they make, you can see the little part of them that is in it. And it is love. My husband made so much that is in our home- and it means so much. I Laughed when you said you told him he didn’t need to finish the frame– and got “the look”, Yes, I have seen that look. He built our home, he built the bed that was our daughters- a twin with a bookshelf headboard. He built the sets of drawers, and hutches, one in the dining room, and one that he had made to sell, but I liked it so much, he gave it to me. It is a mini hutch, Spanish style, and I have it as a night stand in the bedroom. He built vanities, He built the table, — I wont go on, as I feel you can understand that the list would be long. It makes me feel rich- as rich really truly is not how much $$ a person has. We are both rich! I do like and appreciate your words. “He listened,.. He cared… He put me first” and that says a lot in a nut shell. Thank you for what has became my weekly Coffee chat, and the little bits of wisdom you share with us, your fellow travelers on this journey. God Bless you!

    • Amen, Marci! Being rich has nothing to do with money.

      I bet if we put our husbands together, they could build anything! Isn’t that sweet–your husband gave you what he built to sell. So sweet. That’s love, my friend.

      Thank you for letting me know this meant something to you and that you’re reading.

      Keeps me writing. 🙂

  10. Kathryn says:

    Now, that is what I call a very good man and husband. Isn’t it great how thoughtful they can be?

    • For sure, Kathryn…and that he did it that day. I didn’t have to…..nag. I didn’t nag. I refused to nag.

      I’m a slow learner, but I’m getting there.


  11. Beautiful post, Julie. Doing things for each other because it brings joy is one of the many benefits of a loving marriage. You are blessed!

    Hugs, Eileen

    • Hey Eileen,

      Absolutely. That’s it–doing things for each other because it brings joy.

      Love to you my friend. I love your creativity, your eye for color, and your sweet spirit. It shines in everything you do.

  12. This is true love!

  13. Julie, love this story. What a guy, but then you are quite a gal. Did you know you have the gift of hospitality? I know you get nervous when entertaining, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I mean real hospitality. When I read the comments and your responses, I see how you make everybody who “drops in” feel welcome and special. That’s an incredible gift!

    Blessings to you and yours. Enjoy your new board and your handy and handsome man!

    • Marie! You won’t believe it but I’ve been praying for the gift of hospitality.

      Your comment just landed in my inbox. I didn’t see it earlier. You just made my day!!! Thank you.

      Blessings right back. I bet you’d like a whiteboard too. 🙂

  14. You bless me Julie! Such love- real, authentic, practical, caring- unselfish! I’m excited to read your first novel- 🙂 what a journey- eh? hugs

    • I feel the same way about you, Cindy! Wish we lived closer.

      You’re right. Novel writing has been quite a……journey. Whew!

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