Ignoring the Mean Monster

Everyone won’t understand this, but for those few who do–this one’s for you. Last Sunday night, I was having the best time reading in my favorite chair in the den, covered with my favorite blanket. Comfy and content. And out of nowhere, these bossy thoughts came.

Get up!

You shouldn’t be wasting time! Your blog’s not ready. You only have a blip of an idea, and who writes about lipstick anyway? That’s stupid. Nobody’s going to understand. If you don’t stop dilly dallying, you’ll never get it done. It’s Sunday night and you haven’t written one single word.

Panic lurched across my heart. I raced to the stairs leading to my office.

Before I put my foot on the first step, I stopped.

Wait a minute. This is how the old Julie acts.

Wearing myself out trying to make things happen. Force life into cooperating.

Doubting God.

Another thought came–a gentle whisper–something my Father might say.

Haven’t I been faithful so far?

Yes, but I only have a seed of an idea. I haven’t even started…

Do you trust Me?

A tiny yes rose up.

I didn’t climb those thirteen steps to my office that night. Instead, I turned around and walked back to my chair, covered up with my blanket, and finished reading my book.

Monday morning, I knelt at my desk. “Lord, You’re going to help me again, aren’t You?”

I sat in my familiar desk chair, put my hands on the familiar keys, and began typing as fast as I could.

The mean voice had vanished. 🙂

Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you…” Isaiah 41:10 NAS

Can you relate?

Love,

Julie

 

Comments

  1. Leigh Ann says:

    LOVE this, Julie! Know why? ‘Cause that mean voice tries to steal my joy a LOT. I have this sweet blended family of boys that I sometimes find myself KILLING myself trying to keep happy all the time when that’s not MY job. God put this family together and has been at work in every single detail…who am I to think that just because I sacrifice fun in order to bake everyone’s favorite cookies, I can somehow magically make everything perfect? Perfect isn’t real; perfect isn’t family.

    I loved this today…thanks for writing it!!

    • Such wisdom, Leigh Ann. “Perfect isn’t real; perfect isn’t family.”

      Hmmm. Sounds like a wonderful book title…

      Love you! xoxo

  2. Anna Haney says:

    Oh, Julie, I SO needed this verse. My mom is getting worse. Last night and Monday I had phone conversations with her that literally scared me. I don’t know how my daddy deals with it all. I feel like God has just left this whole thing. Part of me wanted to climb through the phone and tell her to stop her pity party and wake up and count her blessing. I am in such a s state today that my “mean voice” wants to call and tell her how she has made my life hell. But the way she has been, more than likely, she will turn it all back around to where she is the focus. I so needed this verse. I also desperately need your prayers

    • I will pray for you and your Mother.

      • Hey Anna. Wow. Dear Anna.

        I’m praying for you and your family. Sounds so tough right now. I’m praying for His Peace to hover….Let me know, my friend.

  3. Brenda Greene says:

    Bingo Julie! I can SO relate! and love that you finished reading instead! Just acquired three new (to me) books (“treasure chests just waiting to be opened”) I’m excited to begin. Often wonder why something that brings such pleasure (reading) can create guilt at what I think I should be doing instead! Keep on writing Girlie and we’ll keep on enjoying! You’re touching on familiar subjects for sure!

    Don’t know you Anna Haney but appreciate the “blogger” we share! I will lift up your prayer request and ask God to bring you a peaceful heart even in the midst of your anxiety with your mom. Difficult situation for sure, but I love God’s promise in Matthew 12:36: “That which is impossible with man is possible with God.” Claim it!

    • Amen, Brenda. I’ll be sure and Facebook message Anna to let her know she has people praying from the blog.

      Brenda, I feel the same way. My books ARE my treasures. And I love that you call me Girlie~~Such a cute name.

      Your comment SO blessed me–to know my words find a home in your heart–that’s what it’s all about. xoxo

  4. Vicki says:

    Julie,

    Every one of your posts touches me. You are so gifted.

    Thank you!

  5. His mercies are new every morning…He gives us the grace we need at just the moment we need it-not before…
    I have to tell myself this ALL the time. But ya know what? Blogging has been instrumental in teaching me some practical lessons on trusting God…He really does provide and if He’s silent…I wait.
    love u
    ps…I bet everyone can relate

    • I remember you telling me that one day, Robin. If He doesn’t provide to be silent on the blog. It seemed like huge faith at the time, but I’m discovering how right you were!!

      Blogging isn’t so much about my writing, but about my trusting Him.
      Love you.

  6. “Funny” how that mean monster is allowed to get under my skin…
    Self-pride is what drives me past listening to the calm voice of the Spirit.
    Thank you also for the reminder to spend time on the IMPORTANT, not the urgent.

    • True! True! Melody–not on the urgent. But the important. Great words!

      Thank you. So glad you understood this one and know about ignoring the mean monster.

  7. Georgia says:

    Hi, Julie! As usual — your blog speaks right to my heart. I struggle with the mean monster too. I have to remind myself that God is in control alot!! 🙂 Have a wonderful day!

    • Thank you, thank you, Georgia. I had no idea many people had ever met The Mean Monster. 🙂

      So glad we’re standing together believing that God is in control!

  8. Oh, yes, I can relate. I dug out some old positive quotes that I used to tack up on the corkboard around my cubicle/desk at my legal secretary job that I held for years. My boss would come by sometimes just to read one or two of them. Here in my home where I work and write now, there are no corkboards, but I do have a small patch of wall space (and a big, beautiful window to look out into my backyard….I am NOT complaining!).

    Anyway, I pulled out those notes that I’ve kept since last working as a legal secretary in 1993 and here’s one of them:

    Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. RALPH WALDO EMERSON

    Yes, Ralph, Julie and I are finishing every day and being done with it. Right Julie?

    • Georgia says:

      Hi, BJ! I love that Emerson quote. I am going to write that one down in my book. Thank you for sharing it!

    • Love it, B.J. Such wisdom from Ralph!! Thank you. Once again, I’m going to print your words up and stick them near my computer.

      XO

  9. Oh yeah, I can definitely relate! 🙂

    • I’m smiling, Ane. 🙂 🙂

      Will miss seeing y’all next week!! Every time I think about your news, I want to jump up and dance!!!!

  10. Yes, Julie, that mean monster attacks me all the time! It tells me when I’m writing that I should be doing something else, like cleaning house, but when I’m doing something else, it tells me I’m supposed to be writing. I try to post my blog on Friday, but sometimes, I can’t get it together on Friday no matter how hard I try. So Friday, I read, I thought, I sat at my computer, but nothing. So I decided I would quit trying and not feel guilty about the fact that it wasn’t going to happen on Friday. Went to our high school homecoming game with my husband, really enjoyed it, and let the “girls in the attic” work while I was doing something else. Then Saturday morning, I sat doen and knew what to write. What freedom there was when I told the Mean Monster to leave me alone!

    • Love reading this, Marilyn!!! That’s EXACTLY what I’m talking about. My friend Robin, above, touched on it too.

      It’s like, when I tell the monster to scram, I can hear His Still Voice.

  11. Shelley Elaine says:

    Oh, my goodness, YES! I can definitely relate. And, by the way, I loved the lipstick post! I even went out and bought some myself 🙂 Tropical Coral – love it! My husband asked if I was doing something different. And, today’s post is just EXACTLY what I needed. Thanks Julie!

    • No you didn’t, Shelley!! You bought new lipstick!! Love that you treated yourself with something so beautiful sounding as Tropical Coral.

      And your husband even noticed!!!!!!!!

      Thank you, my friend. Makes my heart so happy to know He’s working through me.

      Much love today.

  12. Julie, oh how I can relate to trying to perform to meet some standard that will make me more lovable in my mind. Resting and enjoying life is a concept that I have to stop and practice. It is a new day! Thank you for sharing your victory!

    • Love it, love it, love it Pure Glory.

      Performance is one huge trap, isn’t it. Tempting but destructive.

      Hope you rest and enjoy your night. Thank you so much for letting me know this made sense to you, and leave us alone Mean Monster!

  13. Yes, I can relate. The mean monster rears his ugly head sometimes and I need to slow down and LISTEN too. Thanks so much for the post, Julie. XO, Pinky

  14. You’re so welcome, Pinky. Just so amazed that the Mean Monster chases after my friends too. Who knew?

  15. How well I can relate. I had gotten to the point that I felt such pressure to do…do…do. I never rested, never turned off my thoughts. And then I realized that didn’t honor the Lord. My husband deserves a wife who’s not always working, not always at the computer, not always thinking of what’s coming next.

    Sounds like we’re on a similar journey. 🙂

  16. Amen, Vonda! So true about what our husbands deserve. And we both realize it.

    Sounds like we’re Soul Sisters!!!

    XOXOXO

  17. Sandra Walker says:

    I am going to start talking back to the Mean Monster, now that I know what to call it!!!
    I was awed that your verse is the exact one our pastor preached on Sunday!!!

  18. 🙂 I love it, Sandra!

    We gotta keep telling the Mean Monster to scram and believing God is our Helper.

    XO

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