My Easter Confession

Here we are on an Easter Sunday morning during the late 80’s. My daughters and me.

Back then, even though I don’t like to shop, I ran around town searching for just the right matching dresses for our girls. Their little Mary Jane shoes, white lacy tights, and hair bows had to match, too.

Then our son came along, so I coordinated his Easter outfits to ours (including my husband’s tie).

I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with new clothes, shopping, or dressing up. That’s not what this is about.

I knew the real meaning of Easter, but I didn’t worship.

I was too busy creating the illusion of perfection.

Sad, but true.

A few years ago, my husband and son built a huge cross midway down our gravel driveway.

Yesterday morning, I walked to the cross and remembered Easters when my children were little.

The air was damp and cool. Maybe like the Garden of Gethsemane.

I stared at the ground surrounding the cross, traced my fingertips along the rough wood.

Lord, forgive me for my pride. I didn’t worship You those Easter Sunday mornings. It was all about me.

Slowly, I raised my head and studied the cross.

Thought about His death. His outstretched arms. His resurrection.

You’ve been forgiven, He seemed to say. That’s why I died. Worship Me now. This very moment.

I glanced at my clothes.

Faded jeans, a T-shirt, my husband’s jacket, and my old tennis shoes.

Kneeling at the foot of the cross, my clothes didn’t matter. Not at all.

Thank you, Lord. I love You. More of You. Less of me.

Love,

Julie

 

Comments

  1. Oh J…so powerful. so very powerful. your words took my breath, I remember doing the same thing, thinking: “Yes, yes, Easter is about Jesus on the cross and Jesus being raised from the dead….now, what can I fill the baskets with” sigh. That was my attitude year after year when my babies were babies…
    Sweetly broken with you today…xo

  2. Thanks for sharing! Love the pictures!

  3. Anna Haney says:

    Wow! This was so powerful. Just this week, I had been thinking about getting an Easter dress, wondering how I could magically lose weight to get into the one I really liked. This morning, I was running late and I came to work with no makeup and in very casual clothes. “What will they think?” I said to myself. Then I saw the verse I have on my desk Colossians 3:23-24. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters—-it is the Lord Christ you are serving. ” Thanks, Julie and Happy Easter

  4. Oh, Julie,
    As I read your post, I was thinking, “I did the same thing.” For years, I tried to create the illusion of the perfect Christian family. My three sons were all coordinated with my dress and my husband’s clothes, which was important because it was the only day he went to church during the year, and we had to look united in faith. Now, so many years later, my sons don’t go to church at Easter or anytime. Did I focus on the wrong things? Did their church experiences mean anything to them? This year, as every year, I pray that somewhere deep in their souls, the cross of Easter will touch their hearts and remind them of the true meaning of worship. What a blessing to see the cross you husband and son erected in your yard! I am truly touched by your testimony. Thank you.

    • Happy tears reading your precious comment, Marilyn. Thank you—thank you. Such honesty. I understand.

  5. Beautiful, the stain of dirt on the knees can begin now and Jesus blesses us with His grace. Thank you Julie!!! He is so faithful!

  6. Great post — you are maturing in your faith in a perfect way. Blessings for the Easter experience you will have Sunday and every day of the year!

  7. Thank you so much, Linda! Growing in our faith is…..quite a journey, isn’t it. Brings us to our knees some days. Easter blessings to you and yours~xoxo

  8. Wow, powerful and beautifully said. Thank you for sharing you with us and for baring your soul.
    Hugs and love.

  9. Leigh Anne says:

    Love this! The pictures and the heart.
    Blessings to you all for a beautiful Easter.

  10. Thank you, Leigh Anne. What about that big 80’s hair! 🙂 🙂 Love to you all and hope your Easter is full of Joy! xoxo xoxo

  11. Oh Julie, I have done this all of my adult life. I was raised a Catholic but left my church 40 years ago. I FEEL like I am a spiritual person, I have faith in my God, but do not go to any organized church. The past few years I have felt an urging to find a church, I am looking. Please say a prayer for me. XO, Pinky

    • I’m praying, Pinky–asking God to quicken your spirit when you pass by the right church. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Let me know how He leads you.

      Much love!

  12. candis says:

    Beautiful message.Happy Easter !!!

  13. Excellent (ummmm — convicting?) post! It’s been about 10 years since I’ve been able to dress my boys alike for Easter.
    For years I worshiped the Spring fashion show; then I matured & worshiped at the ministry “busy-ness” show — playing piano, singing cantatas, acting in dramas… Now I’ve progressed to worshiping the Easter dinner table where I spend the weeks prior planning menus, invites, seating charts, table settings… I top that all off with frantically cooking the days before & running home from church to finish up.
    I’m so sure this is what my Savior had in mind when He emerged triumphant from that tomb, right? Thank you, Julie, for the reality (sanity) check.

  14. wow, Julie. Such a beautiful and transparent post. Thank you for sharing your heart.

  15. Thank you, Joanne. xoxo xoxo xoxo

  16. Carol Clyde says:

    Loved the honesty, as always! How many of us buy into all of the trappings?! However, I must say the first time I saw the picture, I thought it was your mom! Then I read the post and looked back and saw you! Now, I look again and see your mother in you!

  17. Hey, Carol. My mother/Myself. We do look a lot a like! 🙂 Thanks for reading, my friend.

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