Three Perks of Being Free from Party Panic

May 15, 2013 By 22 Comments

For years, I thought having the gift of hospitality meant throwing the perfect party. I got all serious and grim-faced. Stressin’ and obsessin’. Dusting. Cleaning. Straightening. Scrubbing. I wore myself out striving for perfection. But no more!

During my SURRENDER YEAR, I broke free (in lots of ways!) and discovered three secrets to throwing a great party.

My husband and I decided to celebrate Mother’s Day differently this year. We had our parents over for breakfast Saturday morning instead of eating out for lunch on Sunday. When you’re free of Party Panic, you can break traditions. :-)

Did everything go perfectly? No. Would the old Julie have stressed over the flaws? Absolutely.

I used our wedding china and my grandmother’s stemware and green Depression glass serving pieces. I don’t have silver and Mother offered to bring hers.

While I was setting the table, she called. “Oops, we’re on the way and I forgot the silver.”

Ordinarily, I’d have panicked.

Fine china with everyday forks and spoons!

And I didn’t have enough of my grandmother’s green glasses, so I had to use a couple of yellow ones.

And I left the strawberries on the counter for two days and they got moldy.

And I burned the bottoms of the biscuits.

And I forgot to wipe the pollen off  the doo-dads outside on the front porch.

But you know what? None of my imperfections mattered because…

…being free of Party Panic meant I could…

1. Forget about myself.

2. Have fun at my own parties.

3. Love others from my heart.

The root of my Party Panic and Perfectionism was PRIDE.

What a waste of time and energy!

There won’t be a perfect party until we get to Heaven.

Love,

Julie

Filed Under: Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Friendships and Mother/Daughter Relationships, Glimpses of God, Inspirational, The Pitfalls of Perfection Tagged With: , , , , ,

Living (and Flying!) Fearlessly

April 17, 2013 By 38 Comments

For those of you who’ve been trampled by fear, this post is for you. Since I was a little girl, my go-to emotion has been fear. I’ve been afraid of zillions of things. Flying. Public speaking. Failing. Succeeding. Not measuring up. Fear is so exhausting, and it snatches up all the good stuff in life.

For years, flying wore me out. I was convinced it was my job to keep the plane in the air. I’m serious. I sat without moving (didn’t dare want to tip the plane) and kept my muscles rigid. If I relaxed–even for a second–the plane would plummet to the ground. I stared at one spot on my lap, never daring to glance out window. Too scary. Besides, I had to concentrate. My job was to keep the plane in the air.

Kind of like how I approached life. If it’s to be, it’s up to me.

I didn’t want to let go of my illusion of control.

I’m cringing while I’m typing this… I thought I could do a better job flying the plane than the pilot and God.

But during my SURRENDER process, I began laying down my fears.

There’s really no other way to live–really live, than to let go.

Guess what? I’m not afraid to fly anymore! Zero fear.

Flying home from the GUIDEPOSTS  workshop last weekend, as we approached Atlanta, I had to take a celebration picture. Leaning over my sleeping husband I whispered, “Thank You, Lord. You’re amazing. I’m free. I’m not afraid.”

If anyone is caught in fear, believe me. I understand. Let me know. I’ll pray.

Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. Isaiah 41:10. NAS

Love,

Julie

 

Filed Under: Addictions, Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Glimpses of God, Inspirational Tagged With: , , , , ,

Three Life Lessons from Clothes Shopping…Seriously

March 20, 2013 By 23 Comments

I have this peculiar trait. I don’t like shopping for clothes. Especially at malls. Once those glass doors close behind me, I get claustrophobic and confused. So many choices, people, and fashion rules. But I have two upcoming events and need to look spiffy.

Remember (was it during the 80′s?) when we learned to dress in the colors of a certain season? I’m an autumn and have worn army fatigue brown, green, and beige for years.

Color Me Beautiful explains it.

I asked my fashion guru daughter Katie for help. We went to North Georgia Premium Mall, an outlet mall. I had no clue outlet shopping is nothing like regular mall shopping!

You can breathe.

And think.

And laugh.

And sit on a bench, eat ice cream, and watch birds.

Inside the first store, Katie flitted around piling clothes over her arm.

“Kaaaaaatie! I can’t wear those colors. I’m an autumn.”

“Trust me, Mom.” She grabbed a navy blue jacket.

“No! Navy’s for a winter person. I might go with periwinkle, but not navy. I don’t want the jacket. ”

“It’s not a jacket. It’s called a blazer.” She laughed. “Just try it on.”

In the dressing room, I texted a picture to my friend Robin hoping she’d vote for the shirt with warm colors.

“Definitely the blue. Looks like springtime.”

But I’m an autumn.

And then something magical happened when I slipped on the navy blue blazer.

I hardly recognized my new self.

“Wow,” I whispered. “I never knew…”

On the way home, my 2012 word SURRENDER found me.

Surrender can mean…

1. Some old ways of thinking fade.

2. I swallow my pride, ask for help, and listen.

3. I trust God with shopping. With everything.

P.S. Katie had coupons. :-) Everything was 40% off. She says Old Navy has colored jeans on sale!

I bet you love shopping, don’t you? 

*Georgia Premium Outlet Mall picture from geolocations.us.

Love,

Julie

 

 

Filed Under: Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Friendships and Mother/Daughter Relationships, Glimpses of God, Inspirational, The Pitfalls of Perfection Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Goodbye Fear…Hello Fun!

November 7, 2012 By 15 Comments

I’ve tried all sorts of tricks to overcome my fear of public speaking. I sit at the decorated banquet table with clammy hands, a dry mouth, and try to think of something cute to say. I take deep breaths to slow my racing heart. Which never works. I shake so much I can’t eat my plate of lady food.  I pretend I’m not the speaker until I have to walk on stage.

But y’all….

Something happened this weekend. I led a ladies retreat about my one word for the year. Surrender.

I talked to God on the way to South Carolina. “Will You take the fear this time? Pleeeeeeeease? If I didn’t have to be afraid I could have fun.”

Surrender.

“I am. I’m going.”

Surrender your pride. Care more about the ladies than what they think of you.

The gentle thought wrapped around my heart.

When I drove up to the gorgeous green house on the lake, I didn’t want to leave the safe bubble of my car.

Surrender.

I grabbed my suitcase and sweet Shari welcomed me. She lives here, where the retreat would take place. The back porch reminded me of the love I felt at my grandmother’s house.

Here’s my bedroom–a comfy twin bed covered in a quilt and pillows. Someone had printed my name on a little card to welcome me. :-)

 After dinner, we gathered in the cozy den. Time for the first session.

I glanced at the smiling faces and something amazing happened.

Such love for each lady welled up, there was no room for fear.

I forgot my proud self.

No trembling hands. No dry throat. Absolutely no FEAR! Zero!

“Y’all,” I said. “For the first time in ten years of speaking, I’m not afraid.”

Applause! Laughter!

Here’s a one minute video of the end of the retreat. Click the word “Surrender” below to watch.

Surrender

The path to Surrender isn’t fun, but when I finally let go, wow. What an exhilarating way to live. And love!

“Perfect love casts out all fear.” 1 John 4:18

Love,

Julie

 

 

Filed Under: Addictions, Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Glimpses of God, Inspirational, The Pitfalls of Perfection, Where are You, God? Tagged With: , ,

A Life Lesson in Lipstick…Seriously

October 17, 2012 By 39 Comments

I have this theory that lipstick tells a lot about a woman. In this month’s Ladies’ Home Journal, Diane Keaton says, “Just have fun. Smile. And keep putting on lipstick.” I usually stick with your basic Vaseline or all-purpose Chap Stick. Safe. Predictable. Barely there. Even on my wedding day, I wore a thin coat of Vaseline.

One morning a few weeks ago, I called my friend Lynne Gentry. “You up?”

“Up, dressed, and have on my red lipstick,” she said.

“I’ve never seen you without it.”

She laughed. “And you never will.”

An itty-bitty comment but it sailed into my heart.

You’ll never believe what my redheaded mother did. She broke from her burnt orange OPI Cheyenne Pepper and bought FUCHSIA-COLORED LIPSTICK. I kid you not.

Mother said during the 50′s she and her friends went to Rich’s in Atlanta just to buy Milkmaid Pixie Pink lipstick.

“The smell of it made your mouth water,” she said. “Not for food but to make sweet memories.”

That did it.

I headed to Ulta and walked right up to the makeup counter and asked for help. “I want a lipstick with shine, sparkle… you know, personality.”

The saleslady chose one for me. “This looks like you.”

“Perfect. I’ll take it!”

And then I read the name of the color. You’ll never believe it.

Risk Taker.

Risk Taker. Opposite of the old me.

Ah, now I understand. This is about my one word for the year. 

Surrender. 

Let go.

Live boldly.

Fearlessly.

Trust God.

What color lipstick do you wear? Does it say anything about your personality? Is my theory right?

Love,

Julie

 

Filed Under: Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Friendships and Mother/Daughter Relationships, Glimpses of God, Inspirational Tagged With: , , ,

Me and Chicken Little

August 8, 2012 By 20 Comments

Sometimes I’m just like Chicken Little, the annoying little chicken who ran around saying, “The sky is falling! The sky is falling!”

Watch the first few seconds, and you’ll understand.

I tend to expect the worst. A phone call from an unknown number might mean a family member’s gone to jail. An official-looking envelope could be alerting us we’re the victims of identify theft.

You just never know.

The other day our son Thomas said, “Bye, I’m going to Brittany’s.”

An hour later Brittany, his girlfriend, called–crying so hard she couldn’t talk. My heart flip-flopped.”Brittany? Honey? What’s the matter?”

No words. Only muffled sounds.

I chewed my lip and paced the den. “What is it? Say something. Are y’all okay?”

“Miss Julie, Thomas wanted me to call you…”

Why can’t he can’t talk? I assembled the clues and came up with the most likely scenario. There’s been a wreck. The ambulance  is probably on the way.

The sky is falling!

Then I realized Brittany wasn’t crying.

She was laughing. “Thomas says to tell you we’re coming over. He’s rescued a rooster.”

I imagined my son’s midsection bleeding from wrestling a wild chicken. “Did it spur him? Roosters can be–”

“Oh, no ma’am. He’s fine. We’ll be there in five minutes.”

Here’s the rescue squad. We welcomed Ernie, a fine-looking Rhode Island Red, to his new home.

The truth is, I have received heart-stopping phone calls from my teenagers (middle of the night calls are the worst!), and discovered scary letters in the mailbox, and a couple of family members have done jail time.

But Chicken Little was wrong that day. The sky wasn’t falling.

So early this morning, as Ernie crowed, I resolved to change.

Whatever comes my way, I’m going to smile, expecting only the best.

Love,

Julie–Chicken Little no more!

Filed Under: Addictions, Being a Mom, Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Glimpses of God, Inspirational Tagged With: , , , , ,

I’m Weird Like That

June 6, 2012 By 19 Comments

As a little girl, I went to lots of spend-the-night parties. I never told anybody, but I didn’t really like going. I’m weird like that.

After Mother dropped me off, I’d find a quiet spot in the corner and stretch out my sleeping bag. I was usually the first one to fall asleep and first to get up. Saturday morning, I slurped a bowl of Cheerios, suitcase in hand, ready to hurry home.

This past Thursday, I was invited to a big girl spend-the-night party with three dear friends at a cabin in north Georgia. I love my friends, couldn’t wait to see them, but just before leaving home…I remembered.

I glanced at my cozy bedroom, the soft glow of the lamp, and smoothed my fingers over my quilt.

I felt a twinge of little girl feelings.

Good grief. Sometimes I’m the same little girl inside. Loving my predictable routine. Help me to change, Lord.

I petted Clyde goodbye, grabbed my suitcase, and headed for the mountains.

That night my friends and I went out for Mexican. We talked and laughed at the restaurant, and back at Lisa’s cabin, we stayed up until 1 a.m. eating chocolate chip cookies. (Gluten-free with Pamela’s flour…..delish!)

I slept in Lisa’s daughter’s bedroom. She had a comfy quilt like mine and soft pink sheets. You’ll never believe it…

I was the last one up the next morning!

Here we are on Friday…me, Leigh Anne, Dayna, and Lisa. :-)

Before we left, the four of us joined hearts and prayed.

I thought about my theme for the year.

Surrender.

Oh, the wonderful plans I have for you… God seemed to say.

You mean, like the Dr. Seuss book, Oh, The Places You’ll Go?

You’ll see. Surrender. Daily.

I’m so glad I went to the big girl spend-the-night party! :-)

Maybe I used to be “weird like that.” But not anymore!

Do you have any weird ways  you’re working on changing?

Love,

Julie

 

Filed Under: Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Friendships and Mother/Daughter Relationships, Glimpses of God, Inspirational Tagged With: , , , , ,

He Loves Me…Even When I Mess Up

March 28, 2012 By 16 Comments

A couple of Saturday ago, I was grocery shopping, my mind wandering through Worry Land.

I was stressing and obsessing about a decision in life…

What if I decide yes and it’s the wrong thing? What if I pick no and it’s wrong? Ahhhh! What to do?

Back and forth, back and forth.

And then I realized I’d abandoned my one word for this year, SURRENDER.

I was trying to take control–the opposite of letting go. And it wasn’t the first time.

Then the guilt came.

You’re doing it again, you know. You’ll never get it right.

In my head, I knew God loved me, but for a few minutes, my heart forgot.

Driving home, I flipped on the radio. My favorite song was playing. Ohhh, how I love this song!

I knocked my worries out of the way and listened to the powerful words. They always move me.

I asked for forgiveness and let His love sink in.

God loves me. He really loves me.

Even when I mess up. Even when I doubt Him. Even when I struggle to surrender.

After the song, I prayed with a tiny amount  of faith. Barely a blip of a prayer.

God, I sure wish we could sing this song in church tomorrow.

Guess what? We did!

Hope you love it too. :-)

P.S. How are you doing with your one word for 2012? If you’ve messed up too, it’s okay. God still loves us. :-) Big time!

Love,

Julie

Filed Under: Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Forgiveness, Glimpses of God, Inspirational, The Pitfalls of Perfection, Where are You, God? Tagged With: , , , , ,

Are You Tired, Worn Out, Burned Out?

February 22, 2012 By 11 Comments

I am.

Tiredness came slowly, sneaking up behind me like a shadow on my heels.

I tried to outrun it. Move faster. Work harder. Accomplish more. It’s the way I’d always approached life.

I have two autoimmune illnesses–Celiac Disease and Sjogren’s Syndrome, which plays a huge part in my fatigue, I’m sure.

Finally, at 51, I’m learning to rest. Slow down. Be still and quiet. Wait on His Strength.

Taking care of Julie is new for me.

And what I’m experiencing ties in beautifully with my word theme for the year…Surrender.

Last week, my sweet stepfather Gene read me this scripture. If you’re tired, worn out, burned out , I pray this scripture will bring a slow but steady healing.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with Me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me–watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30 The Message.

‘Til next time,

Love,

Julie

Filed Under: Celiac Disease/Gluten-Free, Glimpses of God, Inspirational, The Pitfalls of Perfection, Where are You, God? Tagged With: , , ,

Don’t Take My Cake Away!

January 18, 2012 By 24 Comments

Date nights are just as much fun when you’re in your fifties.

Friday morning Rick said, “Where do you want to eat tonight?”

“How about gluten-free pizza at Your Pie? Then maybe I’ll get a piece of gluten-free cake.” (I was diagnosed with Celiac disease disease four years ago.)

“Whatever you want.”

True love.

I thought about my carrot cake all day long. Could hardly wait to taste it. I’d found a spot that sells homemade baked goods not too far from the pizza place. After dinner we zipped over to get my cake. Yay!

There it sat. My very own piece of cake full of nuts and iced with cream cheese frosting. (This is not the exact cake, but you get the idea.)

I placed my order.

The guy behind the counter said, “You don’t have Celiac, do you?”

“Umm, yes. Please don’t take my cake away…”

“You shouldn’t eat this. We can’t guarantee it’s not cross-contaminated with wheat.”

“Noooooooooo!”

“Do you think it would hurt you?” Rick said.

“It might. Probably.”

I handed my cake back and found a box of Ugi’s Snickerdoodles. Guaranted to be gluten-free.

Yuck. They probably taste like cardboard.

Back at home, I zapped a few of them in the microwave. I took a bite. Totally amazing! They were delish–soft, warm, cinnamon-y–even better than carrot cake! I poured us both a glass of milk.

I sensed there was a message for me buried in my snickerdoodles. After picking the word Surrender for 2012, there’s been a message for me in almost everything.

What is it, God?

Saying no to carrot cake means taking care of your body.

Surrender means taking care of your soul.

When you’re tempted go back to your old ways, remember these sweet cookies were from Me.

You have a new way to live–really live.

“…for Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.” Matthew 6:8 (NIV)

Love,

Julie

Filed Under: Celiac Disease/Gluten-Free, Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Glimpses of God, Inspirational, The Pitfalls of Perfection Tagged With: , , , ,
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