Three Sweet Lessons from a Cup of Starbucks Coffee

May 8, 2013 By 24 Comments

Last week, my doctor suggested I start giving myself B-12 shots. My blood work revealed a low B-12 level. I’m a medical assistant and have given injections, but never to myself. I knew I could do it, but I wasn’t looking forward to it. That morning, I got a peculiar idea. The thought felt gentle. Warm. And utterly ridiculous.

A certain nurse would be teaching me to give the injections. I have CELIAC DISEASE and whenever I call the doctor with a question, this nurse helps me.

Take her a cup of coffee.

That’s silly. I don’t even know if she likes coffee.

Do it anyway.

What about sugar and cream? I’m not pestering her to find out…

Take the coffee.

I drove past the doctor’s office and turned into STARBUCKS.

This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. Even if she likes coffee, I don’t know what kind to get her. Maybe she doesn’t do caffeine. Maybe I should get her hot tea.

Get her your favorite kind.

I ordered two cups of Sumatra.

Signing in at the doctor’s office, I started rambling to the girl behind the counter. “This is for my nurse. She’s been so sweet to me, but I’m not sure if she likes–”

“Are you kidding? She loves Starbucks.”

“What about sugar and cream?”

“She has her own concoction she adds.”

Handing my nurse the coffee, three unexpected things happened:

1. I forgot about myself. My health. My concerns.

2. My nurse became a real person to me. We talked a little about her world. And she loves Sumatra!

3. Learning to give myself shots, I felt no fear–only a big dose of gratitude.

Thank You, God. So many blessings from a cup of coffee.

Can you relate?

Love,

Julie

Filed Under: Celiac Disease/Gluten-Free, Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Glimpses of God, Inspirational, The Pitfalls of Perfection Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Living (and Flying!) Fearlessly

April 17, 2013 By 38 Comments

For those of you who’ve been trampled by fear, this post is for you. Since I was a little girl, my go-to emotion has been fear. I’ve been afraid of zillions of things. Flying. Public speaking. Failing. Succeeding. Not measuring up. Fear is so exhausting, and it snatches up all the good stuff in life.

For years, flying wore me out. I was convinced it was my job to keep the plane in the air. I’m serious. I sat without moving (didn’t dare want to tip the plane) and kept my muscles rigid. If I relaxed–even for a second–the plane would plummet to the ground. I stared at one spot on my lap, never daring to glance out window. Too scary. Besides, I had to concentrate. My job was to keep the plane in the air.

Kind of like how I approached life. If it’s to be, it’s up to me.

I didn’t want to let go of my illusion of control.

I’m cringing while I’m typing this… I thought I could do a better job flying the plane than the pilot and God.

But during my SURRENDER process, I began laying down my fears.

There’s really no other way to live–really live, than to let go.

Guess what? I’m not afraid to fly anymore! Zero fear.

Flying home from the GUIDEPOSTS  workshop last weekend, as we approached Atlanta, I had to take a celebration picture. Leaning over my sleeping husband I whispered, “Thank You, Lord. You’re amazing. I’m free. I’m not afraid.”

If anyone is caught in fear, believe me. I understand. Let me know. I’ll pray.

Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. Isaiah 41:10. NAS

Love,

Julie

 

Filed Under: Addictions, Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Glimpses of God, Inspirational Tagged With: , , , , ,

Part Two On Aging, Motherhood, and Marriage

April 25, 2012 By 23 Comments

Last week, I reposted parts of my friend Robin’s blog. Almost three years ago, Robin asked my mother how she felt about aging. Mother talks about that and a few more things below:

Thoughts on my feelings…

I’ve come to believe that our thoughts create our emotions. We only have eight seconds to refuse a thought. This has taken me a lifetime to even start to learn. I guard my thoughts like a mother lion guards her cubs. I’m allergic to fearful or worrying thoughts. They are not permitted to trespass in my mind. This discipline helps me every day.

Worry is a waste of time. I never thought I’d be free of worry and fear. They were constant companions. Not anymore. I give God praise for all He’s allowed to come into my life that’s allowed me to relinquish those two bothersome tag-alongs. Worry and fear. It’s never too late.

Thoughts on my grown children…

I’ve learned we can’t force a grown child to choose life. I don’t believe this is ever learned quickly or easily. Pain after pain after pain brought my solution.

I can’t do this, I told myself one day. I thought God smiled and said, Of course not, child. You were never supposed to.

Grown children make their own choices. Sometimes all we can do is stop trying to fix them and pray hard.

Thoughts on friends…

I have friends of all ages now. From teenagers to seniors much older than I am. Age isn’t a consideration at this time in my life!

I’ve learned not to say everything I think.

Sometimes I see a need that deserves to be met and there’s no one around but me. I meet it and my joy is explosive. People all around us need compassion (not pity). Some need a little money. Some need to laugh. And some need a Savior.

Thoughts on love…

When my husband of 25 years died of brain cancer in 1983, I knew my life was over. I couldn’t imagine going on. My greatest battle with fear ensued. God won that battle for me. It was moment by moment agony though. I was 46 when Jerry died and after a year or so, I began to talk to God about being a wife again.

I like being the other half of someone. After four years, He brought a Guideposts reader into my life and we fell in love through letters and phone calls.  In a four-month delicious courtship (in which we never met until becoming engaged) my life began over. I was so in love I couldn’t eat or sleep or concentrate. Gene Acuff and I have been married for 25 years this August. Sigh!

Gene made me feel like Cinderella–and still does occasionally! Life is good…welcome every day, every year, with an open heart.

(Here’s Mother story in Guideposts about their marriage.)

It’s Julie again. Lots of good stuff here. Thoughts?

Love,

Julie

 

 

Filed Under: Being a Mom, Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Friendships and Mother/Daughter Relationships, Glimpses of God, Inspirational, Marriage Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

He Loves Me…Even When I Mess Up

March 28, 2012 By 16 Comments

A couple of Saturday ago, I was grocery shopping, my mind wandering through Worry Land.

I was stressing and obsessing about a decision in life…

What if I decide yes and it’s the wrong thing? What if I pick no and it’s wrong? Ahhhh! What to do?

Back and forth, back and forth.

And then I realized I’d abandoned my one word for this year, SURRENDER.

I was trying to take control–the opposite of letting go. And it wasn’t the first time.

Then the guilt came.

You’re doing it again, you know. You’ll never get it right.

In my head, I knew God loved me, but for a few minutes, my heart forgot.

Driving home, I flipped on the radio. My favorite song was playing. Ohhh, how I love this song!

I knocked my worries out of the way and listened to the powerful words. They always move me.

I asked for forgiveness and let His love sink in.

God loves me. He really loves me.

Even when I mess up. Even when I doubt Him. Even when I struggle to surrender.

After the song, I prayed with a tiny amount  of faith. Barely a blip of a prayer.

God, I sure wish we could sing this song in church tomorrow.

Guess what? We did!

Hope you love it too. :-)

P.S. How are you doing with your one word for 2012? If you’ve messed up too, it’s okay. God still loves us. :-) Big time!

Love,

Julie

Filed Under: Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Forgiveness, Glimpses of God, Inspirational, The Pitfalls of Perfection, Where are You, God? Tagged With: , , , , ,

My Middle of the Night Prayer

January 25, 2012 By 27 Comments

Over the past couple of weeks, my mother’s had some medical tests. Friday, fear got the best of her.

Jennifer my sister, me, and Mother

Her mammogram and ultrasound were clear, but an MRI showed a possible abnormality. She’s scheduled for a surgical breast biopsy February 3rd. My grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer at my mother’s age. She had mastectomies.

Mother sounded like she was covered in cold clammy fear. She wasn’t eating. Didn’t want to walk the dog–afraid she’d miss her doctor’s call.

Fear is an emotion I understand. I’ve been there plenty of times. Fear can take me under.

We talked about a book she’s written, The Nevertheless Principle. It’s the story of how she rose above fear during the last few weeks of my father’s life. He died from a brain tumor.

I reminded her of “The Island of Trust”  she describes in her book–a warm, wide, safe place where she finally let go and trusted God with everything.

She didn’t want to hear about the Island of Trust.

I told her I’d pray for her.

For a few minutes during the middle of the night, between sleep and wake, I prayed.

I’d never prayed like this before.

I imagined the Island of Trust and visited it in my mind.

Sat beside a palm tree.

Squinted at the bright white sand.

Put my toes in the clear-blue waters.

Felt the sun on my back.

Inhaled the scent of suntan oil.

 

Help her get to the Island of Trust, Lord.

Saturday morning she called. “You’ll never believe it. I woke up between two-thirty and three during the night. The giant fear monster was gone! I made it to the Island of Trust. Why would I ever go back into the shark-infested waters of fear?”

I have no idea how or why this prayer worked, but I know there’s an escape from fear.

If you’re afraid, I understand. Let me know, and I’ll pray for you.

(lower photo courtesy of Christianphotos.net)

Love,

Julie

“I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of love, and of power, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (KJ)

 

 

Filed Under: Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Glimpses of God, Inspirational Tagged With: , , ,

I’m a Traveling Nerd

September 21, 2011 By 11 Comments

 

Most people won’t understand this, but I’m a traveling nerd. Whenever I fly, I feel like I’m seven years old going to Girl Scout camp. Back then, days before I left, I packed my handbook, forest green socks, collapsible cup, toothbrush, red Lifebuoy soap, and pre-addressed postcards to write home.

This morning, I’m seven again.

Here I go. I’m leaving for the American Christian Fiction Writers conference in St. Louis. A week ago, I opened my suitcase and imagined how everything would possibly fit. Then there were the questions:

What’s to come? What’ll I say? What’ll I wear? How long will the security line be? Carry on or check my luggage?

I had to work through the shoe dilemma. Boots or flats? I wanted to wear boots, but they’re hard to take off in the security line.

Will I get stuck by a Chatty Cathy on the plane?

Should I bring extra snacks? Jacket  or sweater? Umbrella ? I checked the weather over and over.

I know my problem. It’s not one bit attractive and goes beyond being prepared. I’m trying to control.

Just now, I opened my hands as a symbol of letting go.

“God, forgive me. I can’t pack Peace in my suitcase because You are my Peace. You’ll go with me, before me, behind me. You’ll sit beside me on the plane. You’ll be with me when I approach editors. You’ll help me find my luggage and ground transportation. You alone are my Peace. I love You.”

“For He Himself if our peace…” Eph 2:14 NIV

Love,

Julie

Filed Under: Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Inspirational, The Pitfalls of Perfection Tagged With: , , ,

Shut Up and Get Out!

June 29, 2011 By 16 Comments

Some people may not understand this. Oh, well. Here goes.

I’m learning to be careful with my thoughts. The worst kind are the sneaky ones that tiptoe in like a gray mouse scampering across a stage. He whispers evil tidings.

For instance, my husband and I were having a date night last Friday and a pesky thought interrupted dinner.

What are you going to blog about next week?

You don’t have anything, do you?

Your blogging days are over.

I used to sit fearfully chewing my fingernails listening intently to every negative word the mouse spoke. The longer I listened, the bigger and louder he grew. Sometimes, I wanted to take notes. I didn’t dare miss any of the scary scenarios he predicted. I had to be prepared for the worst.

I’m learning. Slowly but surely.

Friday night, in my mind, I ran toward the mouse. I stamped my feet and bellowed, “Shut up and get out! Take your foolish worries with you. I don’t have to listen. There’s a Higher Authority.”

He shrunk and stumbled off, coward that he is.

I heard sweet silence. Then a gentle, loving voice spoke inside my heart.

“My child. The enemy has no rights to your thoughts. You are Mine. See? The blog is written.”

Does anybody else holler at mice? I hope so.

Love,

Julie

Filed Under: Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Inspirational Tagged With: , ,