Three Perks of Being Free from Party Panic

May 15, 2013 By 22 Comments

For years, I thought having the gift of hospitality meant throwing the perfect party. I got all serious and grim-faced. Stressin’ and obsessin’. Dusting. Cleaning. Straightening. Scrubbing. I wore myself out striving for perfection. But no more!

During my SURRENDER YEAR, I broke free (in lots of ways!) and discovered three secrets to throwing a great party.

My husband and I decided to celebrate Mother’s Day differently this year. We had our parents over for breakfast Saturday morning instead of eating out for lunch on Sunday. When you’re free of Party Panic, you can break traditions. :-)

Did everything go perfectly? No. Would the old Julie have stressed over the flaws? Absolutely.

I used our wedding china and my grandmother’s stemware and green Depression glass serving pieces. I don’t have silver and Mother offered to bring hers.

While I was setting the table, she called. “Oops, we’re on the way and I forgot the silver.”

Ordinarily, I’d have panicked.

Fine china with everyday forks and spoons!

And I didn’t have enough of my grandmother’s green glasses, so I had to use a couple of yellow ones.

And I left the strawberries on the counter for two days and they got moldy.

And I burned the bottoms of the biscuits.

And I forgot to wipe the pollen off  the doo-dads outside on the front porch.

But you know what? None of my imperfections mattered because…

…being free of Party Panic meant I could…

1. Forget about myself.

2. Have fun at my own parties.

3. Love others from my heart.

The root of my Party Panic and Perfectionism was PRIDE.

What a waste of time and energy!

There won’t be a perfect party until we get to Heaven.

Love,

Julie

Filed Under: Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Friendships and Mother/Daughter Relationships, Glimpses of God, Inspirational, The Pitfalls of Perfection Tagged With: , , , , ,

Three Sweet Lessons from a Cup of Starbucks Coffee

May 8, 2013 By 24 Comments

Last week, my doctor suggested I start giving myself B-12 shots. My blood work revealed a low B-12 level. I’m a medical assistant and have given injections, but never to myself. I knew I could do it, but I wasn’t looking forward to it. That morning, I got a peculiar idea. The thought felt gentle. Warm. And utterly ridiculous.

A certain nurse would be teaching me to give the injections. I have CELIAC DISEASE and whenever I call the doctor with a question, this nurse helps me.

Take her a cup of coffee.

That’s silly. I don’t even know if she likes coffee.

Do it anyway.

What about sugar and cream? I’m not pestering her to find out…

Take the coffee.

I drove past the doctor’s office and turned into STARBUCKS.

This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. Even if she likes coffee, I don’t know what kind to get her. Maybe she doesn’t do caffeine. Maybe I should get her hot tea.

Get her your favorite kind.

I ordered two cups of Sumatra.

Signing in at the doctor’s office, I started rambling to the girl behind the counter. “This is for my nurse. She’s been so sweet to me, but I’m not sure if she likes–”

“Are you kidding? She loves Starbucks.”

“What about sugar and cream?”

“She has her own concoction she adds.”

Handing my nurse the coffee, three unexpected things happened:

1. I forgot about myself. My health. My concerns.

2. My nurse became a real person to me. We talked a little about her world. And she loves Sumatra!

3. Learning to give myself shots, I felt no fear–only a big dose of gratitude.

Thank You, God. So many blessings from a cup of coffee.

Can you relate?

Love,

Julie

Filed Under: Celiac Disease/Gluten-Free, Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Glimpses of God, Inspirational, The Pitfalls of Perfection Tagged With: , , , , , ,

This One’s for You, Daddy

March 27, 2013 By 20 Comments

The other night, I walked down our long gravel driveway, just walking and thinking. My husband had some of our 70′s music on in the garage. Coming up the driveway, I heard Stevie Nicks singing “Landslide.” Ohhhh, that song! It came out almost 40 years ago and still moves me.

I had a feeling God had a message for me. That song wouldn’t let go.

Stevie sings about seasons changing, children getting older, and herself getting older.

I know how you feel, Stevie.

I touched the hard knot of a closed bud. The tail-end of winter hanging on tight.

 

Seasons of my life flashed through my thoughts. Leaving for our honeymoon at 18 and 19.

 

 

The births of our babies.

Being a mama of little children. Piano lessons. A thousand ball games. Raising teenagers. Proms. A daughter’s wedding.

 

And then Stevie’s strong clear words wrapped around my heart.

She asks herself, ”Can I handle the seasons of my life?”

Years ago, I would’ve answered her question like this. ”Yes, of course. I have everything under control.”

But life caught up with me.

Landslides brought me down. Just like Stevie.

Difficult seasons taught me I can’t make it without God.

I came inside and found Stevie’s “Landslide” video. This time I heard her softly spoken words at the beginning of the song. “This one’s for you, Daddy,” she says, dedicating the song to her father.

The message slipped into my heart.

Gratitude for landslides. They brought me to my knees.

 This one’s for You, Daddy. My life is Yours.

Have tough seasons brought you to your knees?

Love,

Julie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Addictions, Being a Mom, Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Glimpses of God, Inspirational, Marriage, The Pitfalls of Perfection, Where are You, God? Tagged With: , , ,

Three Life Lessons from Clothes Shopping…Seriously

March 20, 2013 By 23 Comments

I have this peculiar trait. I don’t like shopping for clothes. Especially at malls. Once those glass doors close behind me, I get claustrophobic and confused. So many choices, people, and fashion rules. But I have two upcoming events and need to look spiffy.

Remember (was it during the 80′s?) when we learned to dress in the colors of a certain season? I’m an autumn and have worn army fatigue brown, green, and beige for years.

Color Me Beautiful explains it.

I asked my fashion guru daughter Katie for help. We went to North Georgia Premium Mall, an outlet mall. I had no clue outlet shopping is nothing like regular mall shopping!

You can breathe.

And think.

And laugh.

And sit on a bench, eat ice cream, and watch birds.

Inside the first store, Katie flitted around piling clothes over her arm.

“Kaaaaaatie! I can’t wear those colors. I’m an autumn.”

“Trust me, Mom.” She grabbed a navy blue jacket.

“No! Navy’s for a winter person. I might go with periwinkle, but not navy. I don’t want the jacket. ”

“It’s not a jacket. It’s called a blazer.” She laughed. “Just try it on.”

In the dressing room, I texted a picture to my friend Robin hoping she’d vote for the shirt with warm colors.

“Definitely the blue. Looks like springtime.”

But I’m an autumn.

And then something magical happened when I slipped on the navy blue blazer.

I hardly recognized my new self.

“Wow,” I whispered. “I never knew…”

On the way home, my 2012 word SURRENDER found me.

Surrender can mean…

1. Some old ways of thinking fade.

2. I swallow my pride, ask for help, and listen.

3. I trust God with shopping. With everything.

P.S. Katie had coupons. :-) Everything was 40% off. She says Old Navy has colored jeans on sale!

I bet you love shopping, don’t you? 

*Georgia Premium Outlet Mall picture from geolocations.us.

Love,

Julie

 

 

Filed Under: Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Friendships and Mother/Daughter Relationships, Glimpses of God, Inspirational, The Pitfalls of Perfection Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Porch Party…Valentine’s Day Style and a GF Recipe

February 13, 2013 By 20 Comments

Every morning, my husband Rick and I start the day together on the front porch. Sunday morning at our Porch Party, I did a trial run for Valentine’s Day. I fluffed the red blankets in our rocking chairs, lit a red candle, poured our coffee in (almost) red mugs, and put out heart-shaped chocolate. I had a lovey-dovey question all ready for him.

(The blueberry muffins are gluten-free. Recipe at the bottom.)

“Let’s tell why we love each other,” I said.

He didn’t comment. Just petted Clyde, our yellow Lab.

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll go first. I love that you aren’t a whiner. You fixed the light in the well-house when it was 22 degrees outside without complaining. You’re honest. You’re funny. You’re a good father. I have lots more to say, but you go ahead. Name a few things you love about me.”

He rocked. Sipped his coffee. “All that stuff you said.”

“That doesn’t count. We’re opposites.”

“Help me out, Clyde. Why do we love her?”

I felt like Sally–doing all the talking.  Guess who was acting like Snoopy.

 

“Why do you love me?” I said.

“Lots of reasons.”

“Tell me one.”

“Well…you listen to people. You care.”

“Ohhh, that’s sweet. What else?”

He got quiet–finally said something. ”Look in that tree. There’s a mourning dove.”

“Um-hmm.”

“Hear that? She’s calling her mate.”

“Maybe he’s calling her,” I said.

“Could be.”

“They belong together. Like us. That’s what you meant, wasn’t it?” :-)

“Something like that.”

I smiled. His feelings are there all right. He just speaks in a different love language.

Readers, how about you? What’s your love language?

Incredible Gluten-free Bluberry Muffins and strawberry ones would be even more Valentine’s Day-ish!

(I found out I have Celiac five years ago.)

2 cups Pamela’s GF Pancake and Baking Mix  (There are other GF flours and flour mixtures.)

2 eggs

1/3 cup melted butter or veg oil

2/3 cup milk or yogurt (I used vanilla yogurt)

3/4 cup sugar  

1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries (keep frozen until ready to use)

1. Preheat oven to 375 and get pan ready.

2. Mix eggs, butter or oil, milk or yogurt, and sugar.

3. Add flour.

4. Fold in blueberries.

Bake for 20-25 minutes. Makes 12-16 muffins.

Love,

Julie

 

 

Filed Under: Celiac Disease/Gluten-Free, Glimpses of God, Inspirational, Marriage, The Pitfalls of Perfection Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

New Shoes, New Word, New Thoughts!

January 30, 2013 By 18 Comments

My word for the year, FOLLOW, keeps following me around. Several weeks ago, I fell off the treadmill at the YMCA. Bending over to tie my shoe, I forgot the ground was moving. Probably looked like a total idiot. Landed face down. Bumped my chin. Scrapped my knees and elbows. People rushed over. So embarrassing! Promised myself I’d never let that happen again.

One night last week, my husband Rick and I were going to the “Y.”  I have an old pair of worn-out tennis shoes and a brand new pair.

Here’s the bottom of my new shoes. Safe. Study. Great for treadmill walking.

Bottom of my old ones. Slippery. No arch support. Good for tromping through the woods with the dog.  

I was in a hurry that night. Not paying attention. Guess which ones I wore?

Stepping onto the treadmill, my feet flopped around like I was wearing house shoes. And then my right shoe came untied.

Oh, no. Not again.

Stubborn me–not wanting to lose precious work-out time, I didn’t pause the machine.

I balanced myself with my arms, jumped to the sides, and tied my shoe.

Just like before.

When I jumped back on, the treadmill was going full-speed ahead. Had to run like The Road Runner not to fall off.

 ”You did this to be funny, didn’t you?” I said to Rick, who was laughing. “You made it go faster when I wasn’t looking.”

“No, silly. You were in such a hurry, you hit the high-speed switch when you jumped off.”

On the way home, I sensed God talking to me. Again.

Remember your word is follow.

Don’t live in such a hurry. That’s how you fall.

Slow down.

Follow Me.

Trust My timing. I’m never late.

Any more Road Runners out there?

Love,

Julie

 

Filed Under: Glimpses of God, Inspirational, Marriage, The Pitfalls of Perfection Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Nagging Negative Nelda is Transformed!

January 23, 2013 By 18 Comments

During our morning porch parties, my husband and I aren’t supposed to say anything negative or nag. Last week, I blew it. The morning was brisk, the coffee  fixed just right, and a negative thought came to me. Tiny at first. About the size of a flea. I knew I needed to let the thought go.

But I chose not to.

“Before long, we need to trim the bushes around the porch.”

Rick didn’t say anything. Just kept rocking.

Another negative thought. This one seemed bigger. More important. Feeling justified, I kept going.

“Will you fill the bird feeders today? It’s cold. The birds look hungry.” I was taking up for the poor birds. I had to say it.

There were weeds growing in the hay that had held pumpkins in October. Here it was January.  ”How ’bout tossing the hay from the fall scene?”

 

How had he missed those weeds? In my mind, they were humongous…so big, they took over the whole yard.

 

He gave me “the look” and the porch party fell flat.

I hadn’t meant to ruin the morning. And it happened so fast. In three sentences.

In one single thought, actually.

Scrutinizing what was wrong, I missed all that was right.

Maybe it’s not too late.

“Sorry for nagging,” I said.

“No problem.”

The way out of negative thinking (and fear and self-pity!) seemed too simple to save our porch party.

Gratitude and praise.

But I tried it anyway.

“Listen, is that geese?” I said.

“I think so.”

We smiled at each other–the beauty of the morning restored.

Our thoughts create our emotions.

And we get to choose our thoughts. And our words.

Love,

Julie

“…if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.” Phil 4:8 NIV

Filed Under: Forgiveness, Glimpses of God, Inspirational, Marriage, The Pitfalls of Perfection Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

My One Word for 2013…(Gulp!)

January 2, 2013 By 29 Comments

I didn’t have the warm fuzzies for my 2013 word like last year’s word… SURRENDER. Sunday afternoon, trying to run from my word, I asked our son Thomas to teach me to use free weights at the YMCA. He demonstrated the first exercise by lying on a bench while lifting a weight over his head. “Your turn.”

He handed me the tiniest weight possible–opposite of the ones below. “Easy-breezy,” I said.

He taught me how to pull these ropes while holding my elbows close to my body. It took several tries to get it right, but Thomas was patient with me.

Then he called his girlfriend Brittany for suggestions. Yikes! She’s a personal trainer. They work out together.

Brittany suggested I lunge across the room while holding a five-pound weight. I did it without too much effort.

“Grab me a heavier one,” I said feeling smug. Kinda show-off-y.

Thomas handed me a bigger weight. Halfway across the floor, I thought I might throw up or pass out.

“You okay, Mom?”

I sat down. Caught my breath. Nodded.

“Here’s our next one,” he said. “Watch me first.”

Oh, dear.

Thomas hung upside down by one foot…and did sit-ups…while holding a weight. “Now, you try.”

“You’re crazy! I can’t do that.”

“Sure you can.”

It took me forever to master hanging like a possum.

Then Thomas moved near my feet so I could see his face.

Very slowly, I did one single sit-up holding a weight–the most difficult exercise I’ve ever done.

But wow! When I made it to the top and saw Thomas’s grin and heard him say, “Good job, Mom,” that’s the moment I embraced my new word. :-) :-)

Lesson Learned: You can do more than you think you can.

My word for 2013 is FOLLOW.

I pray I’ll follow God without arguing.

I pray I’ll follow without running ahead thinking I know best.

I pray I’ll follow and not lag behind, letting fear keep me from trying.

Do you have a 2013 word?

Love,

Julie

Filed Under: Being a Mom, Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Glimpses of God, Inspirational, The Pitfalls of Perfection, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Only Seven Cookies…Or So I Thought

December 19, 2012 By 14 Comments

Wednesday morning, I stood in the kitchen staring at the plate of homemade cookies I’d baked. A gentle thought came to me. I came up with logical reasons to push the idea aside. For one thing, I’d made the cookies for a brunch.

The voice inside whispered to take a few cookies to a certain friend I’d met at the YMCA and tell her Merry Christmas. She deals with health issues. I’m drawn to her because of her radiance.

But…

I don’t know her that well.

A few cookies aren’t a real gift.

I won’t have time to make more cookies before I see her.

I should buy her something instead.

Save some cookies for her.

Just stick them in a Ziploc baggie with a bow?

Use a pretty Christmas bag and a card.

Wednesday afternoon, I almost chickened out. What difference could seven cookies make?

Handing her the small red bag, something supernatural happened.

I can’t explain it.

Joy exploded inside me. ”Merry Christmas. These are homemade cookies.”

Her shiny eyes met mine. She hugged me. “I don’t have any food in the house. I’ve been too busy to go to the grocery store. I’ll eat them tonight. Yummy! I can’t believe you did this.”

I almost didn’t. Thank you, Lord.

Shift gears with me.

This morning, I read Stephanie Shott’s post at The Mom Initiative. She’s requesting readers to write short prayers for those affected by the tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut. This time I didn’t argue with the Still Small Voice. I quickly added a prayer in the comment section with the others. My friend Robin wrote a beautiful post about carrying one another’s burdens. She shares a link to donate to the families.

I’m learning something so sweet.  Blessings follow obedience.  Even in the seemingly small things.

Love,

Julie

P.S. Robin’s cookie recipe. They’re GF. White chocolate cranberry walnut oatmeal.

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Celiac Disease/Gluten-Free, Friendships and Mother/Daughter Relationships, Glimpses of God, Inspirational, The Pitfalls of Perfection Tagged With: , , , , , ,

The Wall at the “Y”

December 5, 2012 By 26 Comments

Lately, every time I pass a certain wall at the YMCA, it tugs at my heart. This past Saturday, I couldn’t hold back any longer. I snapped a picture. I had to show you. 

Monday morning I rested my fingertips on my laptop keys. Such a magnificent wall. Thank You.

Lord, remember when I felt like quitting earlier this year? I fell into a deep dark hole of fear and doubt. What if I mess up? Don’t get it just right?

I ended up like Jonah in the belly of the whale.

I tried to quit writing. Decided to become a nurse. A hairstylist. A cashier.  Anything but write. 

I studied the picture of the big red wall.

Lord, You’re the Good Shepherd. So patient. You stayed by my side.

From my office loft window, I spotted a cardinal flit by the trees. He hurried on his busy way. You’re the Everlasting God.

I sipped my coffee. Whispered the words on the wall. Probed a little deeper.

When I felt stupid, You showed me Mercy. You didn’t give up on me.

You’re my Redeemer. The Name Above All Names.

Yahweh. 

There’s no peace without You. You’re my Prince of Peace.

More praises rose up. 

I can’t do life without You. You’re The Way, The Truth, The Life.

I can’t write without You. Can’t love without You. Can’t live without You.

You’re my Bread of Life. You’re every name painted on that big red wall and so many more!

Michael W. Smith and Amy Grant singing “Emmanuel.” Or “The Big Red Wall at the ‘Y’.” :-)

 

 Is there a name for Jesus that stirs your heart?

Love,

Julie

 

Filed Under: Fear: A New Way of Thinking, Glimpses of God, Inspirational, The Pitfalls of Perfection, Where are You, God? Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,
« Older Posts