I have so much to learn and relearn about LOVE, my word for 2017.
Monday, I hurried into Target with my list, but my mind wasn’t on shopping. I wanted to figure out what Real Love means.
I wanted to tuck Love into a box. Tie a bow on it. Move on.
I stopped at the front of the store where they put seasonal things on sale and came home with three Valentine’s Day items that weren’t on my list:
Heart-shaped lights to go over the kitchen table–
A pack of Valentines.
A notepad decorated with conversation candy.
After I hung the lights, I lit three red candles in the kitchen.
But it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t satisfied.
Love is more than Valentine’s Day. It’s more than red hearts and white, lacy doilies.
What is Real Love?
Does Real Love always mean giving, giving, giving and saying yes?
Maybe it would help to define what Real Love isn’t.
I usually think better in the woods, so I took the dogs for a walk. The trees were bare, and I noticed something.
It runs horizontally, and you can only see it in the winter.
But it’s always there.
I crunched my way through the dead leaves and stood beside it.
It’s just a fence. A useless fence.
But for some reason, I was drawn to it.
The fence doesn’t even keep the dogs in the backyard.
It marks our property line.
What difference does the property line make?
With the dogs standing quietly at my side, I stood there praying, thinking, wondering.
The fence matters.
The thought came softly, but it startled me.
I remembered a book I’d studied in a ladies’ small group, Boundaries, by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. We even did the workbook.
Back in my office, I found my copy of Boundaries.
Chapter One–What Does a Boundary Look Like?
In small group, we talked about how fences are physical boundaries, and how physical and emotional boundaries are necessary.
I skimmed my notes:
1. Boundaries (fences) define our personal property. Our space.
2. Boundaries show where one person ends and another person begins.
3. Boundaries protect us. They keep the good in and the bad out.
4. Boundaries aren’t selfish. They’re loving and kind.
We discussed the power of the word NO–
The importance of keeping emotional and geographical distance when appropriate.
How to back up our boundaries with consequences.
Real love includes fences.
Real love doesn’t always mean, YES. Of course. Let me do that for you.
Real love isn’t about red and pink hearts. Sometimes it means loving yourself enough to say, “No.” Click to tweet.
Does this side of love stir your emotions?
It does mine. I’m reading Boundaries again.