Part Two On Aging, Motherhood, and Marriage

Last week, I reposted parts of my friend Robin’s blog. Almost three years ago, Robin asked my mother how she felt about aging. Mother talks about that and a few more things below:

Thoughts on my feelings…

I’ve come to believe that our thoughts create our emotions. We only have eight seconds to refuse a thought. This has taken me a lifetime to even start to learn. I guard my thoughts like a mother lion guards her cubs. I’m allergic to fearful or worrying thoughts. They are not permitted to trespass in my mind. This discipline helps me every day.

Worry is a waste of time. I never thought I’d be free of worry and fear. They were constant companions. Not anymore. I give God praise for all He’s allowed to come into my life that’s allowed me to relinquish those two bothersome tag-alongs. Worry and fear. It’s never too late.

Thoughts on my grown children…

I’ve learned we can’t force a grown child to choose life. I don’t believe this is ever learned quickly or easily. Pain after pain after pain brought my solution.

I can’t do this, I told myself one day. I thought God smiled and said, Of course not, child. You were never supposed to.

Grown children make their own choices. Sometimes all we can do is stop trying to fix them and pray hard.

Thoughts on friends…

I have friends of all ages now. From teenagers to seniors much older than I am. Age isn’t a consideration at this time in my life!

I’ve learned not to say everything I think.

Sometimes I see a need that deserves to be met and there’s no one around but me. I meet it and my joy is explosive. People all around us need compassion (not pity). Some need a little money. Some need to laugh. And some need a Savior.

Thoughts on love…

When my husband of 25 years died of brain cancer in 1983, I knew my life was over. I couldn’t imagine going on. My greatest battle with fear ensued. God won that battle for me. It was moment by moment agony though. I was 46 when Jerry died and after a year or so, I began to talk to God about being a wife again.

I like being the other half of someone. After four years, He brought a Guideposts reader into my life and we fell in love through letters and phone calls.  In a four-month delicious courtship (in which we never met until becoming engaged) my life began over. I was so in love I couldn’t eat or sleep or concentrate. Gene Acuff and I have been married for 25 years this August. Sigh!

Gene made me feel like Cinderella–and still does occasionally! Life is good…welcome every day, every year, with an open heart.

(Here’s Mother story in Guideposts about their marriage.)

It’s Julie again. Lots of good stuff here. Thoughts?

Love,

Julie

 

 

Comments

  1. B.J. Taylor says:

    Oh, my. Just when I think Marion’s words can’t get any better, they do.

    Like this:
    “Grown children make their own choices. Sometimes all we can do is stop trying to fix them and pray hard.”

    And this:
    “I’ve learned not to say everything I think.”

    And this:
    “I like being the other half of someone.”

    I like being a reader of both your words, Julie, and your Mother’s. Thank you for sharing and making me smile today!

    Hugs & love,
    B.J.

  2. Love this, Julie! And I loved reading the story of how your Mom met Gene. God is so sweet!!

  3. Ane Mulligan says:

    Hmm, and here I’m trying to learn to let go and SAY whatever I think. LOL

  4. Jackie S. says:

    Thanks, Julie, for Part Two!!! Always love hearing about your Mom……I told you earlier how I love her books and loved meeting her way back! Blessings on her and you and yours!!!

  5. Melody♪♫ says:

    “I can’t do this, I told myself one day. I thought God smiled and said, Of course not, child. You were never supposed to.”

    ouch!

    As an oldest daughter, it has ever been my modi operandi to “fix it.” It is just too hard to wait for God. I’ve yet to learn how to give things COMPLETELY into His hands.

    Thank you for letting us peek into your mom’s heart yet again.

    • Julie Garmon says:

      Ohhhh, Melody. Me too! How well I understand the oldest daughter thing. That’s part of my one word for the year, I’m sure. SURRENDER.

      Thanks so much for your comment!

  6. Arie Strobel says:

    Your mom is so lovely, Julie. Tell her this one I heard recently: WAIT – Why Am I Talking?
    I need to remember that for my grown friends…and will have to remember it with my young daughter.

    Also, I did not know she had RA. A local friend of mine does also and it is very debilitating. She likes to travel though and finds ways to do it. Recently she went on South African safari – ALL BY HERSELF. Her article about that was published in Arthritis Today last month. Here is the link so you can show Marion: http://www.arthritistoday.org/community/people-profiles/karen-baker.php
    Love, Arie

    • Julie Garmon says:

      I know—I love what you’re saying…”WAIT. Why Am I Talking.” I’ve never heard that one. Love it. Will remember it!! Can’t wait to check out this article.

      Thank you, my friend!!!

  7. Robin says:

    Ohhhhhh! All of her thoughts on grown children. I needed to be reminded…xo

  8. candis says:

    I have been following your Mom’s words of wisdom since your Dad was sick.Shis so real. She has been a huge influnce in my walk with God.

  9. Betsy Whitehead says:

    Hi, Julie: I read your mom’s love story with Gene when it first appeared in Guideposts, then read it again today and teared up once more. I have enjoyed her writing for many years and now look forward to your work as well. We live in Indiana but my husband is from Macon, Ga., and a UGA grad, so all these references to Athens and Stone Mountain are familiar. God bless.

    • Julie Garmon says:

      Ohhh, how neat Betsy! My sister was born in Macon. And UGA is so close to me–about 25 minutes. Thank you so much for reading, my new friend from Indiana! Blessings on your and yours~

  10. Pinky says:

    YOur Mother is a wise woman. I love reading her thoughts. I shared this at a meeting tonight: I read something last week that said, “Worrying is like praying for something you really DON’T want”. True. XO, Pinky

    • Julie Garmon says:

      I’m going to put that one on my computer desk, Pinky (along with Arie’s WAIT–Why Am I Talking?I’ve never heard yours before. BEAUTIFUL and thank you for sharing it!

  11. Marilyn says:

    Julie,
    I too read your mother’s love story when it first appeared and I can’t believe she and Gene have been married 25 years! Love the picture – they look so cute and happy. I wish I could implant your mother’s words of wisdom in my brain so I wouldn’t forget them. Thank you and her for sharing them with us.

    • Julie Garmon says:

      Marilyn, she would tell you it took years for these truths to set in. Years and lots of failed plans and hard work. Thank you so much for reading, my friend. xoxo

  12. What sage wisdom…and what a sweet love story! Thank you for sharing these truths from your precious mom. :-)

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