I don’t mind hard work. I’m a firstborn with a Type-A personality. A nerd. A rule follower. Give me a “think-and-do” page with lots of blanks to fill in.
The flip side is…sometimes I push too hard. I don’t always trust God. I worry. Think I know what’s best. Try too hard to figure out the future.
Last week, I shared my one word for 2012. Surrender.
Here’s more of the story. I didn’t go down without a fight. It wasn’t pretty. When I got really honest with God and myself, I knelt by my chair and filled pages in my prayer journal. Using a red pen I scrawled in messy handwriting, not caring that I wrote outside the lines.
Snippets from my journal…
I let go.
Forgive me for not putting You first.
For not trusting You.
Will You help me?
What’s happened so far…
1. Rest. The cement boulder of worry lifted from my shoulders. A nap on Sunday. Lots of mental energy and fresh creativity.
2. Gratitude. I drove up the driveway Saturday and noticed my husband and son splitting wood. Before December 28th, I would have zoomed past them and missed the moment. But I had to stop and take a picture! Our yellow Lab Clyde is helping them.
Thank You, God. A strong husband and son. Wood for the winter.
Later that day I washed my sheets. Hung them out to dry. I remembered watching my grandmother do the same thing so many years ago.
Thank You. The smell of sunshine-y sheets. April in December.
3. Anticipation replaces fear ~ I can’t worry and anticipate good things at the same time.
Life’s too good to miss–especially the little things.
“Be anxious for nothing…” Philippians 4:6 (NIV)
Can anybody relate?
If you picked a word for 2012, how’s it going?